Sometimes it can be difficult to support a friend who is a survivor of abuse or is in an abusive relationship.  It is difficult to hear stories of a friend getting hurt and sometimes, these stories will make us feel sad, stressed and even change how we behave.  For example, sometimes you may find it difficult to control worry for your friend, you may not be able to sleep because you are thinking about your friend’s situation, or sometimes you may find it difficult to concentrate in school.  Because we care a great deal for our friends, it is natural to want to solve our friend’s problem and take all their pain away.  However, this is not always possible.  While being a good and supportive friend will be an essential part of their recovery, you cannot ‘rescue’ them and make all the difficult feelings go away. 

It is really important for you to acknowledge the limitations of what you can do as a friend, and take care of yourself.  You may find it useful to engage in activities you enjoy such as spending time with friends, playing music, singing, or playing sport.  It may also be useful for you to talk to a trusted friend, counsellor or religious leader about the difficulties that you are having (without disclosing too many details of your friend’s situation, so as not to break your friends trust). 

Remember – to be a good friend and support, you need to take care of yourself.  If you are too stressed and sad, you will not be able to support your friend in the way that you want to.