Lots of young people just aren’t ready for sex, even if they really like or love the other person. Even though it may seem like everyone is doingit, the truth is that the average age when people start having sex is XX, and many wait longer. You have the right to decide for yourself when you’re ready for sex, and to say “no” to sex at any time, with any person, for any reason (even if you’ve already had it). But saying “no” to sex can be hard, especially if you haven’t thought about how to say it before you need to.

If you don’t want to have sex, speak up for yourself. If your bf/gf pressures you or threatens to break up with you because you don’t want to have sex or do sexual things, it might be a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Sex should only happen with someone who listens to you and respects you, not someone who pressures you or makes you feel bad about yourself.

Here are some tips for saying “no”

• Be confident in yourself and know what you want. This means thinking through why you want to wait, before you’re in a situation where sex might be a possibility.
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• Say “no.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you don’t want to do what they want you to do. You can explain if you want, but you don’t have to.
• Tell them what you would be comfortable with: kissing, touching, watching a movie together.
• It’s not enough to only use body language, or just hope they get the hint that you’re not interested. Use your words — be clear and direct. Look them in the eyes, have a serious tone of voice, and try not to giggle or seem unsure.

You can also let them know that you really do like or love them, but you’re just not ready for sex. Remind them that it feels like they really care about you when they respect your feelings.