For ladies, having sex for the first time can be painful. It’s also possible that you may experience very slight bleeding. The blood usually comes from the breaking of the thin piece of skin (hymen) that covers the vagina which breaks when you have sex for the first time. Some ladies do have broken hymen even though they may not have had sex. That may be caused by sporting activities and some women are born without a hymen.
For guys, first time sex will not hurt but they must learn to be gentle and patient with their partners so that their time together may be worth it.
Some tips for a good first time:
- Feeling safe – both physically and emotionally. Feeling safe means being able to trust that your partner will treat you well – with care and respect – whether you’re together for one hour, a week, months or years
- Feeling keen – your body actually changes when you want to have sex. It pumps blood to your genitals, and makes fluids for lubrication
- Clear consent – knowing this is what you both want, not being under any pressure, and feeling free to say yes or no to anything at any stage
- Really good communication – checking in with your partner about what they like, don’t like or aren’t sure they like, what they have or haven’t tried, and what they would like to explore
- Time and space – to explore, talk, and discover things about yourself and your partner
- A sense of humour – sex can be funny and sometimes awkward or embarrassing, but that’s okay if you feel comfortable and trust your partner. It can be funny and awkward for adults, too, not just when you start having sex!
Respect – both partners respecting the other, including their right to privacy during and afterwards.